one of the best days of my entire fucking life was the day i woke up and my first thought was “fuck, i don’t know anything.”
it was really liberating.
at any moment, a sinkhole could open beneath either of our houses and swallow us alive.
the only thing we have to be sure of is uncertainty.
you do what you can, within those parameters.
****
i’ve had a pretty good idea that i don’t really fit in the world since i was in preschool. it’s not an easy fit, anyway.
i’ve followed a few different narratives since then that i thought might be “my place”.
right now, honestly? no idea.
no fucking clue.
and really, the only anxiety i carry around stems from 4 sources.
1. not interested in dying yet.
2. don’t want to end up homeless.
3. don’t want to end up in jail.
4. i’d kinda like someone around to share all of this uncertainty with.
****
a good while ago, i wrote a line in a song i haven’t finished, it’s one i’m very proud of, and it’s one of the few things i will say that i do “know”.
“all it’d take is one bad day to make you like me.”
that’s true of anyone.
you can either be terrified of that or not, it’s a choice, i suppose.