(No, I don’t have any invites.)
I’ve been saving them all up.
Here’s the first 6 months’ worth. As I get to the rest of the year, more will be added.
I bet you thought I was gonna ditch out on the rest of the year, didn’t you? Well, I’m not. Here we go…
(As has been the case for a bit, mouse over some of the items for SURPRISES. Though, if I’m telling you that they’re there, they’re not really surprises, are they?)
(Nicole Atkins, if you weren’t sure.)
(Yes, of course, I bought one.)
And that’s June!
I’m sitting on a train, just pulled out of the station, headed out to spend the night with new friends, and I have some time to reflect on this year, because, hey, we’ve really enjoyed 2014, haven’t we?
Actually, I don’t think we have, so I’ll keep that part short.
I did make some new friends, and I’m grateful for them.
I spent time with some old friends, too, and that’s always good.
I saw some new places, a few of which I’m grateful for, and the rest of which were in the South.
I almost died, but I’m OK. My car, not so much.
Some people didn’t make it, though, and that’s a bummer. I hope they’re at peace.
I saw some concerts!
I got some bubble gum cards.
I watched a revolution or two begin, and I hope they get somewhere good, for a change.
I turned 40.
And, tonight, I “celebrate” the 25th anniversary of the beginning of my career in drinking by not drinking for the 16th consecutive year. The apartment I started in isn’t physically there anymore, but I still am. In some moments, I still feel like the 15 year old who walked into that place. In others, I feel, well, 40 or older. I thought the hangovers would end when the drinking did. Guess not.
In 2015, I will try to get into shape (and maybe succeed), I will work on my poor impulse control (and yes, someone who quit drinking 16 years ago can still have a long road ahead of them on that), I will try to stop insulting locusts by referring to humans in general and Americans in particular as locusts, and I will try to finish creating something of intrinsic value, anything, because this year, all I finished were baseball card sets, and I didn’t create those. Will I do any of what I’m trying for here? That’s anyone’s guess.
Happy New Year, and may next year be much better than this year was.
Are we up to April already? Shit, that means I’m gonna have to look at the next 8 months soon.
I don’t know if it’s laziness or what (the curation’s taking longer than the other months did, so that didn’t work out if so), but I’ve been inspired to go images-only, without my after-the-fact commentary, for this month. It just feels right. Mouseover the pictures, some of them are active links.
OK, here we go into March.
And yet, I stayed there until just about a week ago, long after I’d deleted OKCupid. I’d had no success with it, and I’m defining “success” very loosely as “meeting an actual human being that I found on the site”. Found a few people I know on there. Swiped whatever direction one does when you like someone for all of them. Even if a date or a relationship or something far filthier is not in the offing, I’m not going to say “no, this person sucks” to someone I’m friendly with! So, if you came across this and found my swiping whatever fucking direction I did to be creepy, hopefully that’s illuminating.
Biznis biznis biznis biznis biznis biznis biznis biznis biznis biznis biznis!
Hopefully, you all enjoyed The Lego Movie as much as I did.
I really shouldn’t include this guy as being part of anything even remotely “good”, as he’s a fucked up guy doing fucked up things to people, and we all should hope that exposing himself is the worst thing he’s done or will ever do, but it’s pretty much impossible not to read the words “Philadelphia’s Infamous Swiss Cheese Masturbator” and not think “Hey, have The Dead Milkmen written a song about him yet?”
Seriously, who needs Tinder and OKCupid, right?
Hey, who watched the Oscars this year?
Real talk right there.
Interesting choice of venue, Suzi. The company was good as always, and the view, which I unfortunately don’t have any pictures of, was extraordinary. As much as everyone makes a bunch of noise about New York being replaced by a bunch of Eurotrashy hotels, I find the actual hotels (the Ace is another one I’m fond of) to be interesting locales. GREAT people-watching, and, because they’re all ridiculously expensive, the decor is generally gorgeous.
Absolutely fantastic season of television. I’ve said it before and I’ll say it again, I could watch a 24 hour channel of nothing but Harrelson and McConaughey, in their True Detective characters, driving around and talking.
I’m easy to entertain sometimes, though. There was this one time I gave everyone “live” updates of me watching Corey Hart’s “Never Surrender” video.
Would I lie about a thing like that?
Probably happens a lot.
For those of you who think the Flying Spaghetti Monster is played out already, I offer an alternate suggestion.
Every few years, I watch the entire run of the original British “Coupling”, because I adore it, and I find myself identifying with a different character every time I do. This time, it was Sally.
One of my favorite comic book covers of all time. Bought it in March, at the same store where I bought this…
Hostess cards are dope as hell, y0.
Yeah, lots about life at 40 and, at the time, nearly-40, is different from the picture I had in my head of it when I was younger.
This may be the last time I was able to purchase the Seven Lettuces, as this economy is simply too fragile to be wasting seven different types of lettuce on poor people.
Someone I know HAS to know the answer to this one.
Something to aspire to, I suppose.
All emphatic declarations about hairy asses aside, I have no recollection of why I used Shazam in this situation. I sure as hell did not “discover” Richard Marx’s “Endless Summer Nights” through my use of the Shazam app. I lived through that shit, y0. I would also recognize this song from about a second and a half of it, played from about a mile away, because it’s just that fucking awesome. Don’t even try to lie and say you don’t love Richard Marx. I see RIGHT through you. Not even being on the piss end of the great pop/rock saxophone boom of the ’70s and ’80s (I think Taschen are doing a coffee table art book about it as I type this) could make this song any less amazing. So, yeah, I was familiar, I didn’t need to use Shazam to tell people how much I love the song, and yet, I did. Puzzling!
As if it weren’t tough enough to sing to begin with.
Well, have they?
I will of course spend the rest of my days imagining all the different layers happening in the HUD, as the one waitress brought this guy his coffee at 4 in the morning. MPH of her walking speed, temperature of the coffee and volume in fluid ounces, name of song playing over the Muzak, room temperature, subtitles to the other conversations happening within ear shot, the brain-eating space worms that one can only see with the 4th dimensional view app…
That’s it for March!
Two notes on February’s output: I did not go in pure chronological order for this post, and I was, for better or worse, way more verbose on Facebook in February.
February begins with an amazing meeting of the minds…
Oh, to be a fly on the wall for that conversation.
Ali and Pelé have had health issues flare up on them in recent days, and my best wishes go out to them both.
Onto less serious topics, like many months, February was a month full of dick jokes.
Interestingly, later in the year, this showed up on Netflix.
And I did, but I’ll spare you the gory details of looking at a Facebook post that just said “COCKS”.
This one’s OK, though.
Yep, I saw Skinny Puppy in February. Always good to see ‘em. Apparently.
Thankfully, I’m not the only one who works in this medium, so it’s a little less awkward. Moving on from dick jokes…
This is the song of my people.
Until I finally got fed up and deleted my account (an act which I do have some remorse about, because, my word, look at that username), I was one of the pretty people on a very ugly web site.
And yet, I still found myself having to resort to tactics like these when I went in search of companionship.
Perhaps if I were nicer to inanimate objects, people would like me more.
OK, maybe not that nice.
Yep, on February 12th, I ran out of fucks. Thankfully, I have helpful friends.
This one was from Juli.
This one’s from Crickett.
These two are from Justin.
And, in what should probably get her into the Meme Image Hall Of Fame, my friend Mary (who, truth be told, contributed a LOT to the gallery of images you will see in this series) did, well, this.
Thank you, Mary.
Well, it is! And we don’t wanna end up like this guy…
(Maybe my favorite Captain America quote of all time.)
Speaking of comic books…has it happened yet?
I had kind of a hostile day on February 17th, for specific reasons I can’t quite place. Though, really, checklisting Upper Deck Yankee Stadium Legacy cards would do that to anyone.
Thankfully, I am self-aware.
Hard not to be a little suspicious of a world that puts its sex palaces in shopping malls, though.
And yes, I did it.
My window has occasionally produced some great views. Of the apocalypse.
I will never look at James Dean the same way again.
True story. One of my earliest remaining memories.
This is a true story, too. The guy got into a slapfight with me on his web site because I was marking his posts about his shit-ass record label (which had nothing to do with official web site business) as spam.
Still looking into scoring some.
I hear it makes you feel like this.
That’s all for February. More soon, hopefully! And…
(God bless those boys.)
So, we can all agree that Facebook’s Year In Review sucks this year, yes?
In its place, I’ve decided I’m going to do something.
I looked into actually doing it *on* Facebook, but they handcuff the crap out of their users where post creation is concerned, so let’s do it here.
If I remember to do it (following through is not usually my strong suit on multi-part Internet post series), I’m going to go month-by-month through my timeline, and bring you all what I think were the best posts of the year, either directly from me, or from “shares”.
While there aren’t any screenshots of posts in this first part, there may be in later parts. This will give those of you who aren’t my Facebook friends a rare glimpse at what my posts there (but not the comment threads, alas; boundaries have to exist somewhere) look like. I’m sure you’re all very excited.
Before I start, I should give thanks to everyone I gank, er, “share” things from there. If I tried to name everyone individually, I’d inevitably forget a name and someone would get cross with me, so I’m just gonna give a general “thanks”. Y’all know who you are, anyway.
Without further ado, here goes..these first two technically happened in 2013 (New Year’s Eve, to be exact…), but they didn’t get posted to teh Facebooks until January.
(Thanks to Vincent for filming…)
Andrew W.K.’s merch stand. I quite like the “I’M PARTYING” t-shirt.
(Courtesy of the Toronto Zoo, reposted pretty much everywhere on the ‘net at the time…)
Feel the power of the Toronto Zoo’s new polar cub, Humphrey, taking his first steps! Humphrey’s not quite this little anymore, but he’s a good bear.
It was, at the time.
While I didn’t do a lot with it yet, at some point during the year, I got ahold of a template for the 1971 Topps baseball card design. You should all be pretty afraid.
In other “I do mean shit with photo editing programs” news, here’s Carl McCoy from Fields Of The Nephilim with New Jersey governor Chris Christie’s face.
Yeah, I don’t know, either.
I’d eat there.
I’d wear this shirt.
And, to wrap up January, here’s a picture of the late, great Larry The Goddamn Goldfish. Sadly, Larry didn’t last the year, but he was a damn good fish, and you all should bask in his greatness.
So, that’s January.
Let’s see if I remember to do February!
(This is an incomplete list, with no regard to chronological order.)
1. My father died. Kinda makes the whole Father’s Day post which was my last post of any length here…I don’t know, but it makes it something.
2. I was nearly killed in a car accident. Now, by saying “nearly killed”, I’m probably being a bit melodramatic. I sustained no injuries more serious than a concussion. (There’s no such thing as a “mild concussion”, but as the ones I’ve had go, it wasn’t that outwardly serious.) However, my car (which is no more, and which will cost a few grand to replace with anything not duct-taped together) was hit by a Hummer travelling about 35 MPH by my estimate, my gas tank was very seriously breached (thankfully, the gas station was to be my next stop, so I may have dodged a bullet just by that), and, again, the fact that I can talk about “the concussions I’ve had” (probably 4 or 5 before this, 2 diagnosed and treated as such) makes every head injury I get more serious than the previous one. I’m feeling a little better, but 10 days later, I’m not myself yet.
3. I spent some time in western Massachusetts. I liked it there, and I’m told that my visit helped someone, but I would probably freeze my ass off if I lived up there.
4. I saw King Diamond. TRIUMPHANT.
5. I probably did some other things, too, but fuck it.