I’m not over my last relationship, but it’s in a different way than I’ve ever been “not over my last relationship”. It’s not a good feeling, or a happy one, but it’s definitely a healthier one than I think I’ve felt before. I’m not angry about it. I don’t want them back, as the situation made both of us unhappy in some way or another. I miss who they were, but “who they were” doesn’t exist in that form anymore, even though I talk to them just about every day. I think that I’m still sad that it didn’t work out, and I’m lonely. Maybe one of these things would change if the other did, or maybe they have nothing to do with one another.
I’m trying pretty hard not to blame anyone else for my life choices and their fallout these days. I’m getting a little better at this, but it’s a work in progress.
I’d kind of like to have something to look forward to in my life, and something to build.
I need more company (visitors, not housemates, at least for now) and less stuff.
I need to get better at gauging other peoples’ level and type of interest in me.
I need to live in a place of my own, with no housemates.
I need to travel more.
I need a direction.
I need an identity.